


Why Today?

by HappyMadFace



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: :), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depressing, Depression, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, References to Depression, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Self-Indulgent, Sleep Deprivation, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Swearing, hopeless, hopelessness, i swear it’s gonna all work out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:00:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22236748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HappyMadFace/pseuds/HappyMadFace
Summary: “Dib tried to kill himself. You need to come home. Now.” She quickly hung up the phone before the man had anytime to respond. Key word, tried. Her brother was going to survive. He had to...Honestly this mainly focuses around Zim and Dib, but I think what Gaz said summed the story up pretty well.
Relationships: Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 150





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, posting two times in the same week? That’s... rare? How the heck did I pull this off?

Dib held in a shaky breath, as he held the metal blade to his wrist. ‘ _ This is it,’  _ Dib thought,  _ ‘Today’s the day I do it. For real this time.’ _

The suffering would finally end. He would finally be happy. No more constant bullying, no more labels or titles, no more disappointment. He’d be free.

Dib felt fresh tears roll down his cheeks and he silently cursed under his breath.  _ ‘Damn. Can I get past this without being a crybaby?’  _

His body trembled violently. Dib didn’t know if it was because of the anxiety or lack of sleep. Either way, it didn’t help much. 

Dib removed the blade from his wrist for a millisecond and stared at the ground beneath him. Should he leave a note? Would anyone read the note? Dib thought against it.  _ ‘Just stop thinking about it. You’re just stalling yourself. I thought this is what you wanted?’ _

Dib gulped. But what if Gaz found him? She already knew something was up. She already knew he wasn’t taking his medication. She already knew he had gone back to cutting himself. She already knew he wanted to  _ die. _

Dib let his legs dangle from his bed to the floor.  _ He  _ already knew she would be alone in this world without him. 

Dib shook his head in an attempt to get the thoughts out of his brain.  _ ‘Whatever! She’ll forget about me in a day when she replaces my room with a cool gaming arcade.’ _

Dib finally winced at the blood dripping down his forearm into the covers of his bed.  _ ‘Damn… this is gonna be messy.” _

Dib took in one last breath before pressing the metal into his skin to create a deadly cut. He let out a whimper in pain and desperately tried to contain his need to scream. 

Suddenly the window in his room shattered. He heard a loud high pitched scream and a green figure frantically running to his side.

Dib’s vision was starting to get blotchy, and his hearing was going in and out at random. He couldn’t even feel his wrist anymore. 

Meanwhile Zim was hysterical. He couldn’t believe this stupid, idiotic, numbskulled, human would do this. He couldn’t believe  _ his  _ human would do this. 

Zim grabbed a blanket from off the bed and wrapped it around the human’s wrist. He hoped it wasn’t too late. He  _ really  _ hoped it wasn’t too late. 

Zim suddenly heard the nearby door slam open. 

“Dib, can you  _ stop  _ yelling already? You’re gonna wake up the whole damn-“ Gaz’s eyes widened in a mix of shock and grief.  _ Why today, Dib? _

Zim pleaded to the human, “Sibling-unit call the medics now,  _ please.”  _

Gaz nodded and realized it was the first time Zim had said please… ever. She quickly ran down to the home phone downstairs in a panic. After explaining herself, she called her Dad.

“Dad.”

“Honey? Don’t you know what I have told you about calling me at work?”

“ _ Dad.”  _ Gaz said again with a shaky voice.

“I’m  _ very  _ busy. Whatever could you need?”

“Dib tried to kill himself. You need to come home.  _ Now. _ ” She quickly hung up the phone before the man had anytime to respond. Key word, tried. Her brother was going to survive. He  _ had  _ to.

Meanwhile, Zim tried his best to stay in contact with the dying human. His attempts didn’t seem to have much of a response, but the human was still trying his best to breath and keep his drooping eyes open.

_ Come on Dib-smelly. You’re strong. Just… go on a little bit longer... Please. _

The Irken felt tears spill out of his eyes as he watched the humans body slowly shut down.  _ You haven’t given up yet. Just a little more time! _

The Irken was suddenly pushed away from the boy as paramedics and EMTs surrounded Dib, hastily. They quickly hurried him downstairs and into an ambulance parked outside the house. 

Zim doesn’t know if he’ll ever forget that day. The panicked voices, the blinding lights, the  _ blood.  _ Wait… 

Zim looked down at his attire with a grief stricken face. Red blood was soaked into his clothes. Zim hadn’t even noticed how bad it smelled of copper. 

Zim knew he needed to change, but he wanted to see Dib so  _ badly.  _ The alien eventually fought off the thought.  _ Even if he stays alive he needs rest.  _

.

_ But what if he’s not alive? _

The Irken bit his lip at the question. Dib would be fine. 

The alien sat on the floor a bit longer, staring at the bloody scene. Before using his PAK legs to escape through the broken window. 


	2. Chapter 2

Dib groggily opened his eyes to face a plain gray ceiling. He felt as though he just fell face first into concrete fifteen times. As he tried to sit up, he felt a sharp pain shoot from his wrist.

Oh, right. That.

Dib tried to examine the soft gauze, but his eyes were too blurry with sleep. Not to mention the spitting headache spiralling deeper into his sanity. 

Dib felt disgusted with himself. He just  _ had  _ to live through that, didn’t he? Why couldn’t he just die in peace? Let everyone live without the burden of his presence. Would things have changed if he’d gone deeper? Would he be dead? Should he be dead?  _ Why  _ isn’t he dead?

Dib’s mind came up with question after question, not bothering to think of an answer.

**_Wait._ **

Dib felt like he was forgetting something. Something vital. But what was it? Dib  _ knows  _ someone found him.  _ Saved  _ him. He just couldn’t recall who...

“Dib-human.”

Dib froze.

**_Him._ **

Dib turned in the direction of the noise. Zim sat in the corner of the hospital room. His voice sounded tired and strained.

Dib has no idea what to say. Zim?  _ Zim  _ was the reason he was alive? No way… he couldn’t believe it. The very being that sought to destroy him in the first place was ultimately the one to spare his life. Dib wanted to chuckle at the irony.

Zim gazed at the human with glossed over eyes. 

Dib caught to his cue to speak and cleared his throat. “Zim.”

The two kept quiet for a few moments before the alien spoke. “You are a very stupid human. Do you know that?”

Dib didn’t want to answer. He truly felt embarrassed for letting the alien see how weak he’s actually become. He’d rather not have that as a thing to be remembered by the Irken.

“You’re lucky I even found you. If I, the great ZIM hadn’t found you, you would be dead at this very moment,” Zim smirked in triumph, “I wish to be given you human praise words of approval.” 

Dib continued to keep his eyes trained to the floor. He didn’t want to process this information right now. He  _ couldn’t  _ process this information right now. 

Zim quirked an eyebrow at the humans lack of response. “Human?”

**_Nothing._ **

Zim hopped out of the hospital chair and over to Dib. He looked over the humans glossed face, and then back over to the bandages. 

Dib looked into the Irkens face with a dead pan expression. “What’s stopping me from doing it again?”

“Eh?” Zim responded dumbstruck.

“Zim. This world is a fucking mess. Even I’ve realized that. I’ve  _ known  _ that. I always wondered, ‘what’s my purpose? Why do I live?’ I finally know Zim. It’s not to study real science or discover big foot, it’s to  _ die.  _ I want to die Zim.”

Zim stood in place for a few moments. He knew the attempt was deliberate, but he would have thought after heroically saving Dibs life, the human would be grateful. Apparently not.

Zim took in a deep breath before climbing up the bed frame to sit next to the boy. He looked down at the wounded arm once again. He just couldn’t wrap his head around why Dib would do such a thing.

“Why?”

Dib tensed, “I don’t think I could ever sum all of the reasons up into words.”

“For me. Tell me the reasons because of my existence.”

“Well, I didn’t really think I would affect you all that much. You’d get the Earth. You’d get what you’ve wanted from me.”

Zim thought for a moment, before speaking up. “That wouldn’t be a very heroic death.”

“Who cares. Everyone wins.” Dib turned to face the wall. He didn’t feel like looking the alien in the eye.

There was a long silence before Dib asked a shaky question. “Did they ever show?”

Zim quirked an eyebrow, “Who ever showed human?”

“My family. Did they ever see me?”

Zim shrugged. “Your scary sister-unit comes sometimes.”

“And my Dad?”

Zim was quiet. Dib scoffed and pulled his body closer to himself. “Of course he didn’t. I knew he wouldn’t anyway. It’s not like he cares. He’s too busy with ‘real science’ anyway.” The words came like venom. He felt tears start to prick at the ends of his eyes.

Zim looked down at the human. This was the first time in his glorious life that he didn’t know what to do. His enemy wanted to die, but you saved him, but he wants to die again? Why are humans so stupidly complicated?!

Zim awkwardly put his hand out and patted the boy on the shoulder. Dib quirked his brow and sat up, looking the alien in the eye. “What are you doing?”

Zim shrugged, “You know… the humany comfort thing.”

“I don’t think you’re doing it right.”

“Pfft, please. Shut your filthy mouth  _ human. _ I, Zim, is the best comforter in the history of comfort.”

Dib let out a giggle. A genuine laugh the boy didn’t even know he could still manage. 

“Why does your body make those weird Convulsions?” Zim asked puzzled.

Dib shook his head beaming. The alien’s lack of human understanding was funny to say the least. “It’s a human thing. We do it when we’re happy.”

Zim smiled, “So my presence is helping your happy brain than?!”

“I guess,” Dib smiled to the alien before the atmosphere quieted down. He just had one question to ask the alien.

“Zim.”

“Yes human?”

“I don’t understand why? I mean, why you saved me, that is.” Dib saw Zim’s poster sway as he took in the humans words, “If we were enemies, wouldn’t you have let me bleed out?”

Zim thought about the question.  _ If only you knew human. If only you knew how scared I was that day. You almost took a chunk of my life away. You almost broke off a piece of my ‘heart’. You may be my enemy, but you’re just so much more than that Dib-human. It’s frightening. _

“I- err- well like I said. I can’t have my enemy die that easily, it’ll spoil my reputation. ‘Dib the defender of Earth  _ not  _ dying at the hands of the mighty  _ Zim?!’” _

Dib scoffed, “Your reputation sounds better than mine. Everyone on this stupid planet thinks I’m crazy.”

“I don’t.”

“What?!”

“What?!?!” Zim put his hands out in protest.

Dib let out a small laugh, “You’re a strange one space-boy.”

Zim grinned back at the boy. 

The two chatted a bit until the nurse came to tell Zim he needed to leave in a few minutes. Zim wanted to finally leave this germ infested building, but something was pulling him back to the boy.

“Dib.”

“What is it?”

Zim took in a breath. “Please don’t do that again,” Zim said pointing to the bandages on the boys arm, “that’s an order.”’

Dib was quiet for a minute before finally responding, “Yeah… ok.”

“You promise?”

“I swear on my life.”

Zim lifted a brow.

“Well, Gaz’s life then.”

The two laughed at the joke as Zim turned the leave. “Don’t think I’ve stopped trying to take over the world Dib.”

Dib smiled at their rivalry, “And don’t think I haven’t thought about turning you into a museum exhibit, Zim.”

After a shared silence, the alien was gone. Dib let his body collapse into the hospital mattress below him. He smiled warmly to himself, ‘ _ I think I’m going to keep that promise.” _

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry if this chapter wasn’t as good as the last. I’m just all over the place, haha.

**Author's Note:**

> Stay tuned! I’m makin’ one more chapter for this story!


End file.
